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Yuri was out last night and I was asleep before she was back.
But when I saw her this morning she had a black eye.
It wasnt like uber dark, but its definitely noticeable.
Before she left around noon, I asked her about it, she looked at me, paused for a second, gave me a half-smile then left.

It could be anything but right then I realized I have no clue what she does all day, or even who shes with.
I'm worried because shes so damn evasive.

I've tried.
Shes always calm, cryptic and very...
like she wants to tell me but things might change if she does.
This is all just educated speculation and behavioral profiling though.

I'll definitely have to try harder to get her to open up to me.

If I knew her friends...
Julie moved to colorado.
Shes the only friend of her's I met.

I tried getting Yuri to talk with me and stop being so secretive.
She started talking really really fast, agitated like, and said something about "ruining a good thing," and "Sorry but we're done. No hard feelings"
She packed up and disappeared!
I mean... shes GONE! She even took her Rocky poster!

ugh she talks so fast
uhh "shouldnt fix what isnt broken"
and
"why can't i just stop"?
:[

What predates Abby? This girl does. For the sake of preserving identity, we'll call her Kara.
She's been infatuated with this other chick, who we'll call Eight, for the LONGEST time.
It was like a lost cause loving Kara, but she was irresistible.
So label it "indefinitely postponed" and move ON!
Still friends. See each other everyday. And she knows how I feel.
Despite always being secretive, she ACTUALLY confided in me tonight!
Stuff she hasn't even told Eight!
This is EPIC!
Then somehow after she says something about how I'm a really really nice guy, and could someday soon be more than just a friend, we were talking about falling sleeping in my bed, and the "what if's" that entails.
Anyways, she ends up just going home cause shes exhausted and has work tomorrow,
BUT!
This is...
I feel like...

Its a long story, but she hasn't trusted men since she was a young teen.
The first person who's really really cared about her and helped her through tough times is Eight.
I'm smart enough to not mess with that, I'm not exactly competing, but she knows I really really like her.
So opening up to me is a big step towards psychological recovery for her, and a big brownie point in my favor.

But, this thing with Kara, Eight and their friend Ann, is fricking irritating.

Ann has a thing for Eight, but everyone, including Ann, prentends like she doesn't!
And Ann is SUCH a pretentious bitch; undeniably cute but completely arrogant, condescending, vulgar and outright cruel. Kara hates being around her, but because Ann and Eight are bffs, Eight wants Ann around. Anyways Kara is so hopelessly attached to Eight that she willingly suffers through Ann's presence.
If Eight REALLY loved Kara, she wouldn't bring Ann around. It makes me angry to no end.

Not to mention, I'm about as charming as Seth Fuckin Rogan when Eight and Ann are around,
(both are man-hating lesbians btw)
they bring out my sarcastic pissy attitude thats painfully unfunny.
But when its just me and Kara hanging out...

I'm me.

Ugh.

yeah, I have.
went over really well too, i also got the vibe that she wanted to reciprocate my feelings but... would feel guilty if she did.
I just get this feeling that Kara and Eight have some serious history.
Not relationship wise, but something else...
Kara doesn't act in 'love' per se, but more like... infatuation.
Like being around a celebrity, who saved your life...

Theres this uneasiness that you can feel everytime someone asks about Kara's past.
Its all but been directly admited that she had been violated (by a man, obviously thats where her male trust issues stem from) when she was younger, I'm wondering if Eight somehow helped her recover emotionally & physically?
Thats a big deal.

no no no lol
Kara is infatuated with Eight.
Eight is supposedly in love with Kara.
(seen no evidence to the contrary. But she doesn't really express it either...)
Ann, Eight's friend, has crush on Eight.

ANYWAY...

I have a shot with Kara because,
A: She trust me more than anyone
B: She confides in me, massive secrets that she hasn't even told Eight
C: Because she's said so.

but its "B" that really blew me away.
big time.

partly because she confided in ME, and partly because of what she told me.

I have hooked up with Kara before, but she doesn't remember cause it was right after Eight "dumped" her and she has like 3 entires days blacked out. Repressed or something, Kitty explained it to me.
So I've had to pretend that didn't happen cause Eight & Kara are back together. again.

Anyway, predictable situations, Eight will get tired of Kara and break it off, or Eight will simply disappear.
Everytime I see them together, Kara is giddy but wary she might piss off Eight, and Eight is increasingly agitated.
Not to mention they don't 'get' each other.
Eight's sense of humor is dry, sarcastic and condescending.
Kara's sense of humor is slightly sarcastic, and somewhat juvenile.

Not to mention Eight has NO respect for Kara's friends.

you see that relationship lasting?

Yeah it wasnt my finest moment, nor is it a point of pride.
i feel like shit about that,

but, the fact she was more than willing,
says alot; like she is INTO me (i think) and IS bi.
this was pretty much one of the reasons I wasnt keen on telling.
I'm just glad she doesn't remember.

details? like updates?
Well Kara is distressed cause she's thoroughly convinced Eight doesn't love her anymore.
Kara also stood up to Ann and told her off,
then I told her off too.
and uh, I'm pretty much Kara's safe place atm.
Kitty has a thing for Eight, Ann is still a self absorbed bitch, and Eight just seems wholly disinterested.

well, me and Kara atm are just friends. And for now, thats great.
I dont know if i could actually deal with anything romantic atm.
Just in it for the drinks and the laughs right now.
Also, unfortunately, Kara is very self-destructive, and often she comes to me for advice and support, and last night I had gotten in a serious fight with my family and couldnt be my usual optimistic "everything's alright" guy.
So it was awkward, but we both kinda just went home on weird terms.
Even for friends.
=/

I met up with Kara tonight and neither Eight, Kitty, or even Ann was around.
The weird thing is, I hadn't seen her for a couple days, and now...
well she was putting the moves on me!
I kept asking her questions and shit, but she was evasive as fuck, and was hell bent on getting laid.
I eventually talked my way out of it, and she seemed genuinely disheartened.
I kept waiting for a catch, for the other shoe to drop... but it really was as simple as it seemed.
She was so disappointed, and by that point I felt like a jerk somehow.
I'm so confused! I don't wanna hurt anybody, or step on any toes,
so did I do the right thing...
or did I just cock-block myself for no good reason?

Well I did tell her that I was willing, and "theres nowhere else I'd rather be, and nobody else I'd rather be here with..."
But I wasn't going to do the wild thing with her if her & Eight were still an item!

Eight couldn't be further detached and Kara has kinda noticed.
She of course is convinced there MUST be something wrong with her.
Then I come along, practically worshiping the ground she walks on,
and when she tries to open up and connect with me, intimately...
I pull back.

Damn that sent the wrong message...
Now she's even more convinced that she's the problem.

RRRRG -_-

it was tying it into the rape-revenge stories and making light of a verys erious sub-genre that kind of offended me.

dense much? I want a relationship with her, sex comes with that territory.
But I'm not trying to do is fuck her while shes with Eight.
Not only would that drive them apart further, but it's attributable to me.
They need to end this relationship on their own, to see for themselves that its tired, useless, and rather forced.
If I'm an attributing factor that leaves room for "what if..."
"Would Eight & I still be together if I hadn't fucked Joseph?"
Then they get back together to see if they can work things out.
THAT would leave me in a position so inherently awkward... even Ben Stiller would cringe.

that makes more sense than it ought to man.

and I'd be happy to just be her buddy if that was entirely the case.
But Eight herself is literally sick of the relationship.
she WANTS out.
you've heard of a pity-fuck, well this is a pity-relationship.

Women. =(

Ya'll deserve an update I suppose.
About a month ago, Kara disappears for like... a week.
Everyone is shitting their pants looking for her.
It was really really scary.
However, in that time, most unlikely mind you...
I had to basically have a life without her around.
I thought it was going to be horrible.
But I got out and met new people... new women as well.
And when she finally returned, I was used to her being away.
And was pissed off at her attitude when she came back.
It was in that week I made friends with HER friends, and now they're closer to me than she could ever be.
So now she's like this peripheral person in my life, her girlfriend Eight and this new chick Kori are my close friends now.
And Kori & I may be an item soon.

But in all of this... I still feel attached somehow to Kara.
I think there still feelings there.
But if I could, I would cut them out with a butcher knife.

HAHAHAHA not THAT kori!
this chick I met!
damn! XD
this is her.

shit is deteriorating rapidly.
I think I'm slowly friend zoning myself.

I'm a night person, shes a morning person.
Right there...
that can destroy everything.

She has this friend everyone could SWEAR is gay.
and like a typical gay buddy they hang out now, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
problem is... HE'S NOT GAY.
And he has a massive crush on her.
And she now knows it.
and I think she digs him...
its obnoxious.
He shows up and omg her laptop just happens to start playing "Tonight I'm Fucking You"
wonderful.

He totally has the inside track here.
and because I'm not always around, I can't be, he's apparently fine with having no life so he can be around her at the drop of a goddamn hat.
This sucks.

But honestly... even though I hate her guts right now... I still think I have feelings for Kara.
Which sucks even worse.

I just had to tell Kori I don't think we should see each other any more... like, at all.
She was just totally leading me on.
Or keeping me around as a backup of sorts.
Shes infatuated with this other guy, and he's as annoying as fuck.
And ALWAYS around her. Without fail, if shes somewhere, so is he.
Whats worse is his name is actually Kori as well.

So I showed up today and like told her I can deal with it anymore, I can't wait around for what ifs and possibilities.
I've done that with a certain other someone for over a year. I'm sure as hell not doing it again.

I actually would totally not mind actually having a girlfriend right now.
But seeing as how I have a thing for older women,
and its pretty much always my luck that the ones I like are NOT single...
I think I'm going to crawl back into that dark cold cave labeled "singles life" and hibernate for a long ass time.

I think its about time I posted an update in here.
That thing between me and Kori went up in flames.
She goes through boyfriends like tic tacs.
I can't deal with that. And she lies ALOT.

Anyways, I've known for some time that Eight is going to be leaving to cali to live with her Dad. Her home situation living with her abusive mom was just horrible.
And Kara's been just trying to cope with her leaving.
Fortunately, instead of clamming up and reverting to be a recluse, she reached out to me, and has kinda reaffirmed our frienship that was pretty strained for a while.

And since me and Eight have actually become good friends, this is hard on me as well.
When things in my personal life were tense, dramatic, and/or confusing, she was always there for me and always really calm, kind, understanding and easy to talk to. I was there for her as much as I could be too.

So anyways, Kara and I have subsequently gotten closer.
We talk more, hang out more, play around more.
And she's even opened up more emotionally.
It feels bittersweet...
Eight leaving was more painful than I honestly expected.
But having Kara closer to me than she's ever been feels wonderful.

it was tying it into the rape-revenge stories and making light of a verys erious sub-genre that kind of offended me.

Thanks! And I meant "call" not cool, and I'd rather hang out with her a bit before going to the movies. I haven't had good experience with going to a movie in a first date.

Movies are terrible first dates, simply because you can't talk and odds are (on a first date) you're trying to get to know the person better.

Unless there's actual people that don't do SOMETHING before the movies, which would make me lose a little more faith in humanity.

I have always taken the girl out to dinner AFTER the movie, then if conversation runs thin I can get her talking about the movie and then segue into other stuff.

Yup.

But JUST taking her to the movies is........pretty stupid.

Unless you try talking to her in the ticket line and realize how icy cold she is

I have always taken the girl out to dinner AFTER the movie, then if conversation runs thin I can get her talking about the movie and then segue into other stuff.

Yup.

I'd recommend sandwiching the movie. Grab a quick coffee so you can chat and develop a rapport, then the movie, then dinner to really get to know each other and hopefully have lots to talk about.

This is an excellent idea except that the awkwardness pre movie can often be overwhelming. I'd recommend sandwiching the movie. Grab a quick coffee so you can chat and develop a rapport, then the movie, then dinner to really get to know each other and hopefully have lots to talk about.

Yeah, you make a good point here. A good date is like an oreo, three distinct parts... and some cream

You could always separate the two parts and just..............go for the cream !

I... I think that's called rape.