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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 11:56 pm 
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NiteOwl wrote:
feliciano182 wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
I fuckin' don't. Gag.


Uhm.............you weren't here when the whoreshachs were around.

Uhm...... yeah I was. Look at the date when I joined. There were TONS more people when I joined.
In fact, I was here before you and RJ.

Almost everyone was here before me. It's pretty crazy that I have the highest post count.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 12:37 am 
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well, you did essentially have no life, seeing as how you were at college and all.


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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:37 am 
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NiteOwl wrote:
Uhm...... yeah I was. Look at the date when I joined. There were TONS more people when I joined. In fact, I was here before you and RJ.


You certainly weren't as engaged on the forum until you "came back", and most people were gone by that time; I would gamble almost everyone treated you as a fully new member when you became active here.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:23 pm 
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feliciano182 wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
Uhm...... yeah I was. Look at the date when I joined. There were TONS more people when I joined. In fact, I was here before you and RJ.


You certainly weren't as engaged on the forum until you "came back", and most people were gone by that time; I would gamble almost everyone treated you as a fully new member when you became active here.

Doesn't matter. The point is, I remember the whoreschachs. That was the entire point.
In fact, they're part of why I lost interest the first time around.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 8:26 pm 
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NiteOwl wrote:
Doesn't matter. The point is, I remember the whoreschachs. That was the entire point.
In fact, they're part of why I lost interest the first time around.


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Anyways, hitting on a new chick, not working.................god I hate my life.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:07 pm 
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feliciano182 wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
Doesn't matter. The point is, I remember the whoreschachs. That was the entire point.
In fact, they're part of why I lost interest the first time around.


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Anyways, hitting on a new chick, not working.................god I hate my life.

I don't specifically hate my life, but I'm with ya, guy.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:16 pm 
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Godziller66 wrote:
I don't specifically hate my life, but I'm with ya, guy.


Weren't you hitting on someone too ? I thought that was looking pretty well !

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:17 pm 
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feliciano182 wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
Doesn't matter. The point is, I remember the whoreschachs. That was the entire point.
In fact, they're part of why I lost interest the first time around.


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Anyways, hitting on a new chick, not working.................god I hate my life.

If I hated my life I might be this annoying too. =P

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:36 pm 
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feliciano182 wrote:
Godziller66 wrote:
I don't specifically hate my life, but I'm with ya, guy.


Weren't you hitting on someone too ? I thought that was looking pretty well !

It was before she randomly told me she wasn't looking for anything right now and stopped returning my messages.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:03 pm 
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Godziller66 wrote:
Weren't you hitting on someone too ? I thought that was looking pretty well !

It was before she randomly told me she wasn't looking for anything right now and stopped returning my messages.[/quote]

Well....................I can hate your life if you want to :) !

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:38 pm 
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.......

Anyway, it's really confusing because it seemed like she liked me and now she's kind of ignoring me.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:57 pm 
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Godziller66 wrote:
.......

Anyway, it's really confusing because it seemed like she liked me and now she's kind of ignoring me.


Maybe you were too pushy ?

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 11:09 pm 
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feliciano182 wrote:
Godziller66 wrote:
.......

Anyway, it's really confusing because it seemed like she liked me and now she's kind of ignoring me.


Maybe you were too pushy ?

Might've been when it came to wanting to hang out. But only because it seemed like she was never free anymore. So I'm pretty sure my pushiness didn't cause her to start ignoring me.

In any case, it doesn't seem like any reason to disown me. It's just confusing because there's not a lot of consistency present here, though maybe I should stop looking for that in women.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 4:21 am 
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One thing I think I'm learning lately: You are probably not a creep and if a girl rejects you, it's not always your fault. Probably half of the time it isn't your fault or hers. Of course, you have to be watchful of your behavior but I'm saying this because I am seeing that
life throws me the most bizarre self-esteem boosters; I hit on a girl in school, got her number and everything. I found out she has a boyfriend. The silver lining is how she wasn't freaked out by me at all, so I guess I don't suck at talking with people. We're pretty friendly with each other now.

Also, another girl I really liked apparently has a boyfriend or is married, or maybe neither. This is one secretive lady, which is incredibly annoying. But anyway, after a brief period in which we talked a lot to each other, she stopped talking to me. Via Facebook I saw that apparently she's had a relationship for a while and she's probably even married, although she doesn't quite behave like a married person. Heck, there are no pictures of the guy or anything. I don't know what the deal is, but I guess that's the silver lining again: As Shaggy would say, it wasn't me.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:48 am 
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So. At first, I wasn't going to post here. It never seems particularly productive and sometimes just provides an open display of my perceived failings, but sometimes venting helps.

I've been depressed lately. Like really really depressed. More than I'm comfortable describing. Good news is I finally found a girl I was willing to date after Sierra, but now that it comes right down to it, all she ended up doing was re-opening all of the wounds that Sierra caused me in the first place. Instead of filling the void Sierra left behind, she just created a second one. I talked with this girl, this woman, over facebook during the Summer. Last semester, she approached me to talk to me the first day of classes. We went out a few times and she even gave me her phone number completely unsolicited. Things seemed like they were going well, but she seemed busy at times. Still, she hung out with me a fair amount. I enjoyed spending time with her. But recently, when I tried to take her out on a date, she told me she wasn't interested in a relationship right now. I said that was fine and I was perfectly fine being friends, but she didn't get back to me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt for a few weeks while occasionally sending her a message or two to prompt small talk. Eventually, I asked her if she was ignoring me, though, because it was pretty clear that she was. Finally, she said that she couldn't handle any more friendships or relationships right now. Kind of confusing, but she did seem busy. I asked her if she was alright, because that doesn't seem like a particularly healthy or normal thing to say, though I didn't actually say that. I worded it differently. She said she was fine and that was that. We've since spotted each other in public, but she didn't talk to me or anything.

Even though we didn't know each other all that well, I think I fell a little in love with her. Y'know, if that's possible. A lot of the things I've been feeling parallel the things I felt when Sierra left. Just today, I sent this new girl a message expressing my confusion and sadness and saying I don't understand what happened. I suspect I won't like the answer, but I had to say something. At the very least, I want the chance to say goodbye.

So that's my new sob story. When she was at a dance with me last semester, I remember thinking that this is one of the moments I would look back on while both smiling and grimacing in pain at the same time if things went awry like they did with Sierra. I guess I figured something like this might happen even if things seemed to be going well. I hate being right. I'm not sure if this has caused to be as sad as I was at my lowest with Sierra, but it has caused me to experience a form of despair that I never quite have before. I just don't know how people do this relationship thing. Now I have two women floating around in my head that won't be going away anytime soon and the only form they take is that of pain, reminding me that it's so hard to connect with people sometimes and even something that seems good can be wiped away in the blink of an eye.

I think I need a drink.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:58 am 
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Remembering some of the stuff I've gone through because of this makes me feel sick, but I've grown from those experiences and learned things. Right now, I'm in a bit of a weird stage where I've sort of de-romanticized things, I don't know how to describe it really. I think the last experiences I've written here have calmed me down about my self-consciousness. And maybe it's also this sort of pessimism I get where I feel I might have to jump through various stages. For example:
1. A girl I meet won't be my girlfriend.
2. Okay, she's now my girlfriend. We probably won't stay togehter.
3. Now we're married. We'll probably divorce.
4. Okay, I guess we won't get divorced. Now death is the next part.

I guess I am acknowleding that things won't go perfectly in this regard and that maybe there's a long road ahead. That scares me and even saddens me a little, but who knows, maybe the trip will be fun or interesting. I feel like I've packed a lot of disappointments and bad events inside, but with time, they dissolve and just become memories. Also, I hope this doesn't sound dumb or condescending, but the fact that girls are...people. They're flawed. They're complex, etc. I guess it's up to the individuals in a relationship how they want to deal or if they want to deal with each other in a relationship, but that's the whole point of relationships and we have to acknowledge that people can be difficult sometimes.

I may have said it before, Godziller, but when you like someone or love someone, it rarely fully goes away. It stays but you can completely live with it. You just have to move forward and see ahead, and try to meet someone new or let it come to you. But try not to think about it too much and if you do, then watch out for the silver lining. If I have a silver lining right now is that maybe it's just not the right time for me to be in a relationship; it looks like I have a lot ahead of me in terms of projects, trips and other things that maybe I just don't have time for someone. I know I could make it, but if there's a God or just by a natural order, maybe it just isn't right right now. And you know what? They don't have to stay in your head, you don't have to think about them, you can just make them go away if you want to. You can think about other things and other people.

You have to think if it's your fault, and if it is, then you can try to fix it but if you can't, just let it be and think about it in the future. But you may find it's not your fault or theirs either and again, you really don't have a choice but to let things be. And remember, ALL things can be whiped in the blink of an eye. Not just the good things, and it's up to us what to do and what to think, and even what to feel. Just let them out of your head, find someone new, or stay busy. Whatever keeps you going.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 5:38 am 
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Man, I wish I knew what to say ziller.
I think you get hit harder with this stuff than I ever have been.
I think both of you do. Most of the girls who shoot me down end up being really good friends of mine.
Granted, it still hurts, but... obviously not as bad or in the same way at all.
All I can say is that I feel for you buddy, I hope you find a good distraction. Get your mind off things.
Hang in there, and we're all here for you.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:09 pm 
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One insight that I may have gotten into why I have trouble with this is this: I'm a control freak. I think I may unconsciously sabotage myself because if somebody likes me, I'm unconsciously afraid that they could have more control over the relationship or whatever than I do. Like I go into these stupid thoughts about how they could hurt me or do something to me, and I was having those thoughts about someone I know the other day and I thought: That doesn't make any sense. And I actually feel guilty for thinking like that. But it's not just a thing with women, I think I have those trust issues with everyone.

But maybe that's why I've ended up in long distance things or feeling easier with them, because it feels like the pain could be less or that there is not much at stake. But I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about me. But the insight feels correct, and it could explain why I've ended up attracted to certain people over the years, although I still think that's unanswerable.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:25 pm 
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First of all, Ziller, at least you took your shot. That first step is always the hardest, and you had the courage to give it a try. Good for you.

Now you have to learn the next step: Whatever frustrations you may have about your exes, don't take them out on the next girl who comes along. With women as with life, try to think of every new opportunity as a blank slate. Hell, just the chance at getting a new opportunity is itself a blessing.

That said, when you meet someone who makes you feel so happy that all the pain will seem like a distant memory, you'll know you've found someone special. But that won't happen unless you put in some effort of your own as well.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:40 pm 
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If this was Facebook, I'd like Curi's post.
If this was Google Plus, I'd plus it.
If this was Myspace, I'd....do whatever it was you could do in MySpace.

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