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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:06 pm 
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Curiosity Inc. wrote:
How this discovery will affect the scientific community is yet to be seen.


From the New York Times, April 15, 2015:

Curiosity Inc finds cure for cancer!: "It all started in a lab on day" says Inc.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:24 pm 
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LOCAL MAN HARASSES CRYSIS PLAYERS WITH TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS

A local man known by his Internet handle of BlackDoomShadow harassed fellow players in Crysis Warhead this afternoon by singing Taylor Swift songs and occasionally playing them over his mic. "It was pretty funny watching everyone get pissed," BDS said. When asked if he wasn't just using her music as a distraction and if he actually liked her, BDS changed the subject to the wild weather the community has been experiencing lately and how manly he is.

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PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 10:43 am 
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STUDENT FEELS CRAPPY AFTER A 24 HOUR TRIP TO CEDAR POINT AND BACK(AP) The Student, identified as "Dr. Brooklyn," did enjoy Sanducky, but told us "I feel like s--- because my last five meals consisted of Two Taco Bell Bean Burritos with a 1/2 pound Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito, generic store brand cereal the next morning at three A.M., Chic-Fil-A Waffle Fries, Cedar Point Nachos, and CP fries at the park, and then the aforementioned cereal again this morning." The Vegetarian Doctor was limited by what he could order at Chick-Fil-A and so was lacking in alternatives other than the diarrhea inducers known as amusement park "food." Brooklyn said that he's not looking forward to the two classes his school is requiring he shows up for.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 5:27 pm 
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WATCHMENCOMICMOVIE.COM REGULAR REVIVES DEAD TOPIC

A WatchmenComicMovie.com forum regular, BlackDoomShadow, revived a deceased thread this evening. After stumbling upon the topic, he quickly performed CPR. "I wasn't sure if the topic was a boy or a girl so I was reluctant to perform my patented 'Make out with the hot girl while performing CPR' technique," he explained. Upon being revived, the topic requested that BDS make a contribution to the thread's subject; "Your Day as a Newspaper Headline." That contribution is as follows:


LOCAL RESIDENT PLANS PILLOW FORT WAR

A local resident known as BlackDoomShadow is preparing for a pillow fort war with a group of friends, sources tell us exclusively. BDS and his acquaintances will construct large fortresses out of furniture, pillows, blankets, and other objects, then engage in warfare using Nerf firearms. "It'll be pretty epic," BDS told us, "it'll go down in history as one of the defining wars of history, like Napoleon's conquests, World War II, and the last season of The Hills." When our reporter noted that pillow fort/Nerf gun battles are traditionally for children and he and his friends are grown men, BDS responded with a calculated response: "The jerk store called, they're running out of you!"

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 8:38 am 
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FILM STUDENT NEARLY FALLS ASLEEP DURING LECTURE.

When the 17 year old film student was asked for the reason of his near-uncomfortable sleep in the lecture theatre he said: "Lack of sleep made me tired. F*** THE MEDIA FOR DOING THIS TO ME!". The young student was apprehended soon after for 'nap time'.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:44 pm 
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MEGANPHNTMGRL TWEETS ABOUT VAMPIRES, JON STEWART, STEPHEN COLBERT AND ADRIAN VEIDT
"We aren't surprised," say followers


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:01 am 
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MAN ON VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY FINALLY HAS JOB CONFIRMED!

The prematurely aging expat hipster, whose funds were nearly depleted, was reported to have slo-mo jumped in the air and punched the sky upon confirmation of the job he had been beginning to doubt would come through.
"I was about ready to set my sights a little lower" he said,"I watched Caddyshack a little while ago, and have already written a bunch of applications for grounds-keeping positions. I was gonna mail them tomorrow!"
The man, identified as one Mister Pain, heads to Toronto next week for a script symposium and other pre-production work on an animated series.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 3:52 am 
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Congrats man :)

Er, I mean...

AYB CONGRATS MISTER ON GETTING JOB

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Dr. Brooklyn wrote:
it was tying it into the rape-revenge stories and making light of a verys erious sub-genre that kind of offended me.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 7:07 am 
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:D

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 7:23 pm 
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JOSEPH SHELDAHL DEPRIVED OF CHICKEN WITH HIS PIZZA: Global outrage ensues, fans loot a KFC while holding a vigil.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 7:44 pm 
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IS SHE BERSERK(ER)?: LEAH O'C MESSAGED ONCE MORE BY STRANGLING VIKING SCOUNDREL
For more, see page six.
On page two, one woman's postal problem from Hell.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:18 am 
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WCM forum member wonders why "Your Day as a Newspaper Healine thread" was resurrected: "It's like, get over it, pal", says member.

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"Heard them Walthers like to jump some" "As will you, with one in your elbow."


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