WatchmenComicMovie.com Forum

I pretty much ripped this from another forum, but I feel it's worth it. A list of random funny thoughts. Enjoy.

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a
text.

-A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

-Was learning cursive really necessary?

-Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".

-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

-Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

-My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

-Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

-How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

-I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a ##%% from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

-Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

-While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

-Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

-I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be
used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight
woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

-"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

-I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I
like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 30 kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

-As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my $+% everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat :censored2: before dinner.

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Mexicano Al Grito De Guerra

That's true!



SO TRUE.



I do that...

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All the internet myspace/facebook stalking ones......well, let's just say I can relate

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Mexicano Al Grito De Guerra

Good post! I had a good laugh!



I do this. In fact I did this yesterday while walking through a mini mall that had an odd layout. I was about to reach a dead end, then did an odd turn and walked in the opposite direction. I always feel like people are watching me walk in the wrong direction. And are judging me for it.



Yes, this is true. Sometimes I'd even shake it. You just figured it out. I bet some of you here can't even remember a time when the internet didn't exist.



Well, there's sarcasm pink. Or was it purple? Shit, I forget.



I see this a lot on youtube. People starting sentences with LOL without giving the impression that what they're saying is funny.



I love this.



I feel the same way.

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"Heard them Walthers like to jump some" "As will you, with one in your elbow."

Yeah, I crossed the road first the other day...


Would make a good screwball comedy... hey, I just had an amazing idea for a film! It involves two private investigators hired to follow each other...!

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"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

"There's a cello in your house now."

The Scantron one is fantastic.

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Mexicano Al Grito De Guerra

*When someone asks to see/hear what you're listening to. You glance down at your iPod and see "Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Original Soundtrack." You tell them you're listening to Coldplay.

*When you're laying down while wearing jeans and you notice that fold in the fabric over your crotch that pops up. Even though everyone in the room knows what it is, you're still afraid they'll mistake it for a boner.

*When the girl you like says "you're like a brother to me," and the next thing out of your mouth is "can we be step-siblings?"

*A classic: when the employee says "enjoy your movie," you respond "you too!" Alternatively, when the waiter says "enjoy your food," you respond "you too!"

*When you completely bullshit a school book report by using Sparknotes or the like, and the teacher proceeds to use you as an example of how actually reading the book will get you a better grade.

*When you're watching porn and you find yourself analyzing the plot and characters.

*Another classic that's older than Jesus: seeing your friend, waving, and then realizing that wasn't your friend. Bonus points if you proceed to make some kind of non-wave gesture with your hand that makes it look like you weren't waving.

*People who say "brb," and then return hours later. This is quickly becoming the new "lol."

*When you and someone else in your class have the same name. Naturally, you'd just remember where you are alphabetically (first or second). Except you proceed to answer to the wrong name every single time a substitute reads off the roll for the rest of the year.

*When someone in the room is repeatedly mispronouncing a fictional character's name, or in some way making a small mistake regarding the fiction, and you don't say anything because you don't want to look like a "nerd" for knowing the right pronunciation. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are repeat offenders.

*Another classic: everyone in the room coincidentally finds themselves texting. You also start randomly hitting keys on your phone to fit in.

*When your relatives visit, and the first thing they ask is if you're finally dating that cute female friend of your's. While she's standing five feet away. They continue to ask this every time they visit.

*Someone in the room asks what your favorite show is, and you respond. The room devolves into an argument about whether that show always sucked, or whether it sucks now but used to be good.

*Someone texts you, and you wait several minutes to respond so as to not give the impression you were sitting around waiting for them to text you.

*Yet another classic:
You (IM): Hey
Girl (IM): Hey
Girl has signed off

*You're asked what video games you've played lately. Rather than respond "well, that one obscure but critically acclaimed title," you respond "Halo."

*You want to read one article on TVTropes. Five hours later, you go back to what you were doing before.

*Someone mentions that time they hilariously vandalised Wikipedia. As a Wikipedia admin, you grit your teeth and laugh with everyone else.

*Ones that are older than dirt: a person sitting next to you on an empty bus; a person using the urinal next to you when there are several others open.

*You badmouth Twilight. Every girl in the room looks at you like you just killed a puppy.

*You check her interests to see if you've got anything in common. "Favorite movies: The Dark Knight, The Notebook, Twilight; Favorite TV shows: American Idol; Favorite books: Twilight."

*You use a clever line from an obscure movie to be witty in conversation. Everyone saw that movie. Alternatively, you casually quote a popular movie and everyone starts laughing. You dread the day they get around to seeing the movie and realize you weren't original.

*Someone calls your name. As you have a common name, you figure they aren't talking to you. It turns out they were, and now think you're deaf.

*You post an extremely long list of socially awkward humor items. You realize that while half of them have never happened to you, everyone on the forum will think they have, because you posted them.

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I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one.

Nice addition!

On a side note, if anyone else feels the need to make more additions, make sure they're indeed funny. On the forum I took these from, someone proceeded to add: "What is the point of bottled water?"

Needless to say, the thread turned ugly.

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Mexicano Al Grito De Guerra

Bottled water is kind of stupid though, right?

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"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

"There's a cello in your house now."

And what's the deal with airline food?

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Mexicano Al Grito De Guerra

Happens to me every time I go to class. I usually change the band, so they don't think I'm a Coldplay fan.



I got an awkward look once for that.











I do this a lot. It's funny, and double funny if you have a GF.



I scratch my head. Works pretty much everytime.







I ruined partnership because of that.







Happened a lot with my ex-gf.



Dude: "So, what are you playing this week?"
Me: "Professor Lay--- Final Fantasy"
Dude: "FUCK YEAH FINAL FANTASY!"



Fuck you, TVTropes. Fuck.You.



That creeps me out.



That happened to me hours ago.

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Never give you up
Never gonna let you down

English not very good. Forgive me.

http://www.ghondar.blogspot.com
Because people on the internet think that I'm somewhat funny.

I don't know if this quite fits with the others but it does fit into the category of "Hilarious Thoughts".

-Whoever thought up the name for the fear of long words: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia must have been feeling like a real jerk that day.

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"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

"There's a cello in your house now."

Sadly, this one has happened to me dozens of times...

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I wonder what the outcome would be if I fell madly in love with a girl but it turned out that she liked Twilight as much as I liked Watchmen.

Serious thoughts to ponder.

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"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

"There's a cello in your house now."

What do you say, let's fooking write this!

But isn't the plot to I Heart Huckabees kinda similar?

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My unofficial and offical work-> http://www.youtube.com/movieboyandco

Perhaps if we keep trying we could end up in fresh territory eventually

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- When you mention an obscure, unknown movie to your group of friends to appear smart and cool only to find out that they've all seen it too.

- While looking though a girls phone at her photos, you look at all the ones with other guys in them and say out loud "That guy looks like a fucking douche"

- If you're in the cinemas watching a movie with another person and there's a large group of loud teenagers, you dedicate a certain amount of time bitching about teenagers. While you're with a large group of your teenage friends, you laugh loudly and swear every second word and complain that people who complain about teenagers just aren't as funny as you.

- When you write up some funny observations that you realize about yourself and post them on a forum and no one believes that you made them up yourself.

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http://vimeo.com/korireaymackey

- You're looking through a myspace/facebook profile of a hot girl thinking "She's the one," until you're hopes are shattered by seeing the word "Twilight" under favorite movie.

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Mexicano Al Grito De Guerra

Isn't that kind of the same as the one mentioned earlier?

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"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

"There's a cello in your house now."