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PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 10:57 pm 
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NiteOwl wrote:
Man... fuck em both. Nobody's thinking of you in this entire situation.


Both ?

A doesn't have to think about me though, neither does V really, she chooses who she wants to be with............I just wish she hadn't answered to A's call like a dog does to a whistle.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:40 am 
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feliciano182 wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
Man... fuck em both. Nobody's thinking of you in this entire situation.


Both ?

A doesn't have to think about me though, neither does V really, she chooses who she wants to be with............I just wish she hadn't answered to A's call like a dog does to a whistle.

Well, V is definitely not thinking about you.
And she's being exceptionally selfish. She didn't consider your emotions in this.
All she fucking did, was run back to the dude who kept her at arms length for ages.
Then as soon as you tell her you dig her, she jumps back into his arms.
You're like "I don't think we should chill..." and she gets all teary eyed?
She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
She can't fucking have that man. Screw her.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 4:37 pm 
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In the immortal words of John Lennon, "Time wounds all heels."

Here's what I recommend you do.

1. Tell V you care for her and want to be with her, but, like you said, if she wants to date someone else (in this case A), you just can't go back in the friend zone. You respect her choice to be with A, she needs to respect your choice to not be friends with a former girlfriend (whether it was "official" or not, that's how you tell her you saw her).*

2. Sounds like you don't like, or hang out, with A, so this will likely not be an issue. Say nothing to A. As far as he knows, you don't care he is with V. If he speaks to you about why you don't want to be friends with V, say something like, "not like it's any of your business, but if you want to know, ask V." Leave it at that. It will fuck with his head.*

3. Go about your business. Date other girls. Try to date someone your not crushing on, or who you have built up. Keep it light. This will A) help you with the pain and B) show A and V that you are moving on - which is not a lie, you should be. Assume that you will never, ever date V again.

Now here's what will happen. V will date A and, they will get married and live happily ever after and make lots of babies, which is fine (see 3 above). Or one of them will break up with the other. When that happens - a month or a year from now, V will either come back to you or she won't (If she doesn't, see 3 above). If she does, dig deep. Ask yourself, and her, if you want to pursue a romantic relationship. If she does, and you really, really feel its what you want, go for it. Don't give her any ultimatums about choosing another guy over you in a few weeks, etc. This is your call, your risk, don't lay that on her. If she does it to you again, "its better to have loved and lost," and all that stuff.

Now, if she breaks up with A and then says to you, lets just be friends again - tell her, "no way." If she asks why, just explain that "it just doesn't feel right." You see, if you let her back in as a friend, you are advertising to her that you are her "rebound bitch." She will NEVER respect you - trust me on this. Women want men who have balls, and most of all respect for themselves. If you re-friend her, one night when she is depressed, she will grab a bottle of wine and make out with you again. She will use you as her emotional port in a storm and you DO NOT want to do that to yourself.

My two cents. Hope it was helpful.

* In each of these cases, do not say more than you need to. People will always try to get more information out of you, especially women. They will try to use your words to manipulate you. The less you say, the less chance you will put your foot in your mouth, and the less likely they will try to manipulate what you are saying. Say your piece sternly, clearly, repeat it if they ask again, then end the conversation and walk away. You see, this will always drive the other party nuts, which works to your advantage. You give them little to work with and move on and they are left there thinking, "what did he mean? Does he care? Does he not?" It's the most "hand" you can have in the situation so don't spoil it be blabbing on and on about how you feel, what you think, etc.

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