Sowith my graduation coming in December, I've been thinking A LOT about my future. All those of you who know me, know that I want to make a living out of filmmaking someday. And I think I've been working hard at that. I've done quite a lot of short films, I'm pretty much writing all the time. Hell, I'm slated to direct a music video for a Chicago friend soon. My current job is pretty much being a videographer. But I don't want to stay here.
Juárez has been a mess the last couple of years. I've never dreamt of staying here but it wasn't until the violence erupted four years ago that I thought: I've got to get the fuck out of here. I go to school in the USA, in El Paso, the bordering city. I have to say that my experience with the local film scene, both in Juárez and El Paso has been a very frustrating one and I want to bail. I keep my eyes on going down south to Mexico to do a Master's because I love it over there. I especially want to go to Mexico City which is where all the mexican entertainment industry is.
But the thing is, while Juárez' murder rate is deciling, it's uprising in other mexican cities. And with the new "elected" president, I'm pretty sure the entertainment industry will plummet. Mexico has a very unstable film production ratio. There really aren't any big studios to help out and most mexican films get shit distribution. Television is dead here. There are three competing networks and most of what they air is shit. There is absolutely no room for originality or quality because of nepotism and downright idiocy. And with the president having been imposed with the support of one of the networks, it's obvious they will get more power than they've had. More power to make shit.
But as a mexican, employment in the USA or in Hollywood, where I'd like to be is out of reach. My school offers a program where you can work for a year in the USA in something related to your major but I'd have to find it first and then make a case that it's connected to my major.
And then I find that everything I hate about El Paso I could also find in a larger scale in Mexico City or Los Angeles. Yes, too much shit and too much ego runs free in El Paso. But meanwhile Mexico City is making fucking telenovelas and LA is making remakes, reboots and so on. So shit happens, I guess.
So in short, my options are:
1. Do an MFA in El Paso, which I don't want because for me it would just be a retread of my major and I've found I don't particularly like it there, even though a lot of the professors are rather great. But I'm just tired of this city. But this is a convenient option because I already have a place to stay and almost guaranteed employment as soon as I get in. But there is also the gamble if I'll get in or not and then the gamble of what I'll do in the eight months while I wait to be accepted. I work at school and I can only work there as long as I have credit hours there. For those eight months, I won't have anything and I don't want to delay getting my diploma because it's essential to the applications. But again, I'm also unsure because I don't know how will the USA treat me or my fellow mexicans. Truth is, these past four years it's been a pain in the ass dealing with customs. Even when I have everything right and legally, they still treat me like shit sometimes. But if Mitt Romney gets elected or if somehow Obama decides to go anti-mexican all of a sudden, either way I could be fucked.
2. Do an MFA in Juárez or further down south in Mexico: I've seen the programs and I love them but a lot of them ask me for a preview project of sorts. To give them an idea of what I'd like to do in my time there. And this is when I wish I had gone to school in Mexico instead. I feel that if I had, I would have a better idea of what to do, but since my major field of study is so separate from the mexican MFAs, I have absolutely no idea of what to offer as a project. And again, I'm scared because of the future of my own country. The violence, the new regime, it's all worth freaking out over, I think.
3. Try to land on the employment program. But this is kind of far, far, far-fetched because I need to find the job first, apply, get accepted, make my case and then go. And once again, with the new presidency, I'm not sure if this could get eliminated or not.
4. Fuck graduate school, fuck everything, go look for a job. But again, highly unlikely because a lot of jobs that are far away require a lot of experience. And those that don't, pay by comission. Hardly anything good to live by.
I like the idea of an MFA because I think I'd like to teach someday. But I also want to make movies someday. And I know that no matter what I do, it's irrelevant if I don't keep working at it. But I'm usually very negative about things, but in this case, I have no idea of what the future might be for me. Every choice feels like it could go either right or wrong.
My unofficial and offical work-> http://www.youtube.com/movieboyandco