Transformers 3: Everyone should appreciate Sam Witwicky more, or bad things will happen.
This is not a good movie. Sure, it's not as offensive as RoTF, but that's like saying a bullet to the brain is much more preferable way to die than disembowelment.
While the autobots are on missions from the government (because they're pro-American, FUCK YEAH), The film decides to spend it's time following Sam Witwicky as he attempts to find his worth in the real world. AND HE COMPLAINS THE ENTIRE TIME WHILE DOING IT!!! He complains that the autobots don't appreciate him enough; he complains that his employers don't appreciate him enough; he complains that his girlfriend doesn't appreciate him enough; and more importantly, he complains that the world doesn't appreciate him enough. Why? BECAUSE HE SAVED THE WORLD TWICE, GODDAMMIT!!!! Any likability that Witwicky may have had from the first film, have all since evaporated.
The humor is terrible. Again, not as offensive as RoTF, but it's still bad. It all just feels like something from a really bad cartoon. Characters are made silly simply for the sake of it (often giving them strange accents because FOREIGNERS ARE HILARIOUS!!!!), and often disappear without rhyme or reason. The racist bots have been replaced by Joe Pesci bot, and another annoying robot. Again, not offensive, but just as unfunny and useless. That actually seems to be a quality that many of Bay's characters share: They're utterly useless and unfunny, and seem to exist only to take up time.
But what about the climatic battle? The thing that even the film's naysayers say is impressive? Sure, it is certainly striking and at times even incredible, but it's also something I expected from Bay. Nothing surprised me, and after awhile all I was left with was utter boredom. Buildings blow-up, people and robots die, but it all means nothing because I have absolutely no stake in whatever is going on. The movie so desperately wants to evoke a feeling of devestation when the decepticons begin to take over, but everything feels so empty that it's hard to feel anything but apathy.
But perhaps the worst thing about this movie is: it's too fucking long!! I do not understand how Michael Bay can get away with making a 154 minute film about Transformers. FUCKING TRANSFORMERS!!!! Honestly, if this was cut down to a 90 minute time-waster, I could see myself forgiving many of the film's faults. But as it stands, it ensures that I will have no desire to see this again.
DoTM is certainly a better movie than its predecessor, but only because RoTF was such a steaming pile of shit that anything that came after it looks better by comparison.
all of those complaints didn't bother me so much as to give it a FIVE.
All I wanted from TF3 is a slew of "HOLY SHIT" moments... and you know what? I got em.
Besides, all those complaints could be applied to almost EVERY Bay movie.
It sounds to me like you were expecting something else.
the whole "its based on an 80's cartoon! what did you expect?" argument is dumb, so I won't use it.
but it IS, nonetheless, a movie about massive alien robots who transform into luxury cars, and fight other massive transforming alien robots in their spare time... and without Sam, who I actually like, it would be robot cgi porn wrapped in a toy commercial then deepfried in supermodels, boobies, and boner jokes.
now I gave DOTM an 8/10 because I had a great fucking time.
on its own merit as a movie, it gets a 7/10